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Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP | The Onion (Video)

AP — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 16:00:24 +0000

This clip from The Onion is from November 2009. If someone had told me then that the GOP would have made the gains that they did in the 2010 midterms, I would not have believed them.

Actually, Republicans should consider Zombie Reagan for their leadership. If I learned anything from the 2010 midterm results, it would be that the only demonstrably functioning appendage of the GOP is its propaganda/fundraising wing. Whether or not they’ll be able to actually govern remains in serious doubt.

From the looks of their freshman class, the famed Republican unity-of-message, lockstep discipline is a thing of the past. Their leadership is in for a frustrating experience, akin to what the Democrats dealt with during the last Congress (noteworthy exceptions being the complete lack of empathy, and despite the inherent contradiction, a lot more Jesus).

Zombie Reagan? They could do worse.

(WARNING: Some will find the video to be disturbing and/or offensive…)

Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP

The Onion: Is Using A Minotaur To Gore Detainees A Form Of Torture? | Video Cafe

AP — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 03:33:04 +0000

I love The Onion so much… Here is yet another brilliant piece of satire, and a remarkable and realistic presentation of cable TV punditry.

[vodpod id=Groupvideo.3319842&w=425&h=350&fv=%26rel%3D0%26border%3D0%26]

more about “The Onion: Is Using A Minotaur To Gor…“, posted with vodpod

Ah, Satire – The Onion on President Elect Barack Obama

AP — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:09:25 +0000

Black Man Given Nation’s Worst Job

From The Onion, posted 5 November 2008:

African-American man Barack Obama, 47, was given the least-desirable job in the entire country Tuesday when he was elected president of the United States of America….

As part of his duties, the black man will have to spend four to eight years cleaning up the messes other people left behind. The job comes with such intense scrutiny and so certain a guarantee of failure that only one other person even bothered applying for it…

The Onion: CIA Realizes It's Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years

AP — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 18:15:00 +0000

With its usual ironic poignancy, The Onion pokes fun at the CIA’s penchant for secrecy. At the same time, however, their November 30, 2005 article rasies some very real concerns for historians.

“Why did it go on for this long, and this far?” said Goss in a press conference called shortly after the report’s release. “I’m as frustrated as anyone. You can’t read a single thing that’s been highlighted. Had I been there to advise [former CIA director] Allen Dulles, I would have suggested the traditional yellow color—or pink

Goss added: “There was probably some really, really important information in these documents.”

When asked by a reporter if the black ink was meant to intentionally obscure, Goss countered, “Good God, why?”

Goss lamented the fact that the public will probably never know the particulars of such historic events as the Cold War, the civil-rights movement, or the growth of the international drug trade.

“I’m sure the CIA played major roles in all these things,” Goss said. “But now we’ll never know for sure.”

Indeed, we may never know for sure. With the “highlighting” of such documents, historians must rely on the principles involved, ideally the ones responsible for producing the information. Unfortunately, those individuals are usually less than forthcoming with “highlighted” items. There is hope, however. If we’re lucky, some of those privy to the redacted information keep personal diaries.

If nothing else, It’s funny because it’s true. I do love The Onion. Today’s headline reads, “Badly Injured Man Not Done Partying Yet.” Hilarious.